So after the disappointment of last weeks missed appointment. I persevered , I took on fear and made it up to the doctors to get my bloods done and an ECG. I’m stronger than I think and I foolishly underestimate myself. I went to bed Thursday night determined. Nervous yes , but strangely settled. I floated into it. I didn’t build it up. I diidnt make a mountain out of a molehill.
Its a small start but a much needed boost. I couldn’t get over how calm and relaxed I was. The fear was there of course. But I walked with it. Kept it close but not to the point of stranglehold. I called the shots. And I felt proud of myself. One small hurdle cleared. Bigger ones to come. But I know I can do it. I know through the haze of panic and frustration that I can overcome this. It was worth it for my fathers reaction alone. I hadn’t told him I was going back up after the prior weeks disappointment.
The latest update is that my current dosage wont be altered after all. Dont really know how to feel. I wanted a change in medication. So I’ll keep going and keep persevering. I’ll hear back soon enough regarding medication. Maybe its a blessing the current dosage wont be increased. Will wait and see how it pans out. But something needs to change.
But I have renewed hope and confidence. I’m ready to keep fighting away. The gloves are off. they’re staying off